October Never Ends
by Journey's World
Summary: Cover by RohanElf '"I told you that when I got back here, I'd find you owning that horse, in your father's house with Puck Connoly in your bed..." Holly pauses and smiles that sly American smile. "Now, was I wrong?" he asks as we watch Puck fly across our land on Dove, a small red colt chasing after them.' Following the events of Scorpio Races. Rated T I will warn if it becomes M
1. The Past

Thanks so much Snow Wolfe6631 for betaing! You always deal with my little messes and I cant thank you enough

Sean's POV:

"I told you that when I got back here, I'd find you owning that horse, in your father's house with Puck Connoly in your bed..." Holly pauses and smiles that sly American smile. "Now, was I wrong?" he asks as we watch Puck fly across our land on Dove, a small red colt chasing after them.

A smile plays at my lips when I look at her. Her hair, the color of the autumn grass, has blown out of her ponytail, her face full of the happiness that we have been searching for. She looks over at me quickly and gives me the same smiles. She's beautiful.

I look over at Holly quickly and he still wears his smirk that stretches across his face. "She's a spitfire... did you finally settle her down?" He asks but I don't like the idea off him talking about Puck as if she's a horse. She's different.

"I don't think I want to," I inform him.

Holly smiles and nods as he looks at the young colt. "Well, when I come back next year with Annie... that colt will be a winner and I'll be expecting to hear of a new winner of the human variety," He winks at me and nudges my arm. "Good day ..." He pauses as he slips on his red cap. "Tell Miss Connoly that I wish her luck with the new farm on her land," And with that, he's gone.

A winner of the human variety?

Puck, Dove, and the small colt, Fundamental, trot over to us. "Well, how is Holly? Happy with little Funny here?" Puck says reaching down to rub the soft little head on the red colt causing him to squeal with the sound that only a Capaill Uiscee filly can make.

"Strange in his American ways as always, but yes, he's happy with him. Happy with you too..." I say as I begin to walk off back to my stables.

The three follow me. "Well what's that suppose to mean?" Puck asks.

I look up at her to see her bright green eyes looking down at me. "He believes that you and I are getting married soon. Talked about kids, too," I mutter under my breath as Puck purposefully slips off of Doves back to walk next to me.

Kate only smiles and shakes her head. "Shook you up pretty bad didn't it? I didn't think I was that ugly," She says with a kind of humor that one may only receive from brothers. Suddenly, though it's as if she knows what I'm thinking.

I'd like to marry Kate Connoly. Hell, I'd love to marry Puck and having children with her...well that would mean getting something else with her all together and I don't know if my Puck would want to do that... I would.

"I should get home on Dove," She whispers causing Dove's ears to prick in our direction.

I look at her as we continue walking. "Yeah... unless you want to stay the night."

She looks at me as if I've said something stupid, but there is that small glint in her eyes that tells me she wouldn't mind. "Oh and you think Finn and Gabe would be happy with this? I could only imagine Finn's next letter to Gabe in the mainland titled, 'Get home! Puck's sleeping with Kendrick!' All about you and me and the horrible things we do here," She says with a smirk that so much like her, that she's all I can look at for right now.

"Sleeping with Sean Kendrick? I have a guest room you know," I pause with a slight smile as we walk through the field. "We don't even do horrible things here unless you mean picking up Corr's sh-"

"Sean," She looks at me skeptically. "Well, you know I didn't mean it that way. Guess I know what's going on in your mind," She says turning the skeptical look in to the smirk she wears for her jokes. "Now what is Father going to think..." She rolls her eyes and smiles. "I'll have a lot to say in confession, I suppose," She says as we make our way to the stable and guide the colt and Dove in.

"I don't understand how it could be a sin," I say latching the door.

Puck smiles. "Well the rule is, you have to get married first and you are a fine man but to marry you..." She looks in to my eyes as she leans on the door of the stables where Dove chews at her hair gently.

She's beautiful here. She's always beautiful but here, with the love of that horse and that smile in the dark. I love her and I would marry her right now, not for the reason of sex but because I love Kate Connoly. I love her and her wild November grass hair, her sea green eyes, and those hands of years of practice that always grip mine at the right times. She's been mine for what has now been a year. I like to see myself with her in the future, it makes it look a tangible heaven.

"I'd marry you," I say matter of factly as I take a step closer to her taking in the smell of hay and November cakes.

She looks at me with what looks like amazement and fear in her eyes. "You'd what?" She asks looking from my chest up to my eyes.

I cough slightly to clear my throat. "I'd marry you Kate Connoly. I know we're young and all and it doesn't have to be now but... I want you to know that I would be glad to marry you."

"You want to marry me," She seems to ask, but it's hard to tell if she means it like a question or she's stating a fact.

All I have to do is nod my head and then suddenly my body is moving on it's own and the need to kiss her overpowers the whisper of the ocean in my ear. I kiss her full on the mouth tasting the sweet taste of November cakes on her tongue which is now beginning it's way in to my mouth. Her curved womanly figure pressed tightly against mine, my hand making their way to her hips and her hands to the back of my neck until I hear a slight cough.

I can tell from the way her face becomes bright red like the color of her hair and how she begins to look angry. It doesn't take much to know it's a brother but it's not the younger brother that will simply take it and act like it never happened. It's Gabe, and for me that means a glare of death and maybe death itself.

"Puck... are we going home?" His annoyed voice asks. Puck looks at me with an embarrassed yet stubborn look that seems very rare. She's asking me if she should stay with me here or go back with Gabe, who she hasn't seen for two months now.

I simply nod my head. It's not a real question especially how Gabe has stated it. "I'll see you tomorrow. Take Dove and I'll watch the colt. He'll be fine."

She nods and kisses my cheek avoiding as much eye contact as possible as she takes Dove out of the stable. "I'll see you tomorrow," She mutters and then looks over at Gabe as if she is going to kill him.

I lean on the stable door with the colt calling for his mother. He's getting to old to be babied by his mother but he loves her... and I love Kate Connoly. Watching her walk away in to the Night, with her brother and Dove next to her. I wish to call to her and I wish to have her in my arms once more.

KATE'S POV

I walk into the house awkwardly with Gabe. We barely said a word on the way home.

I hang my dark green jacket on the hook by the door. "How is the mainland?" I ask, trying to cut through the tension. It's a strange moment when your brother finds you pressed against a man kissing him... with a little bit of tongue involved.

It wasn't like I hadn't been with Sean for almost a year now. He was not a complete stranger.

"Puck..." He seems to say. He looks like he did when he told to family he wanted to be like Father. He looks prim and proper and down right holy. "You haven't h-"

Before he finishes I instantly stopping him "Gabriel!" I yell, shocked by his ideas of me.

"It was only a question," He states to me as he sits down in Father's old chair. "You are a woman and all now, Puck, and well... I haven't been here so... is he going to ask you to marry him?"

I pause as I stand over the sink still piled with all of it's dirty dishes. " Its been discussed a few times," I say bravely. I didn't know how I felt about marriage. It was a big deal and a commitment as big and strong as the ocean, filled with all the same uncertainties of the sea and it's monsters.

"Discussed or Proposed?" He asks reaching over to pick up a orange, now fully affordable with my job and the winnings off the race.

What if Sean did propose? Did all of that count as a proposal? Do I want to marry him?

Sean Kendrick is an amazing man. One foot in the sea and another on the land. I'd be happy to spend the rest of my life with him and I wouldn't regret a day that I spent with him. I love him and he loves me. It is quite easy to tell.

I look over at him as I lean back against the sink I could only imagine leaning on the stable door with the smell of Sean Kendrick, his hands on my hips and his lips fully locked on to mine. "Just discussed but not much. For God's sake, Gabe, I've known him for a year. I'm eighteen years old."

"Whatever Kate," He pauses and then stands up throwing the other half of the orange in to my hands. "Just don't do anything you're going to regret. I don't want to hear about a unplanned nephew or niece on the way," He smiles, though, at the end and winks. A true smile that I haven't seen since the day we bought the house and we're safe again once more.

I'm shocked by his ideas and throw the orange directly at him, causing it to splatter on his shirt. "Gabriel Connoly!" I say in shock once more, with a laugh. I fly in to his arms pounding at his chest playfully, like I used to as a child.

"Sean Kendrick is sooo dreamy. I'm going to marry Kendrick. We're going to live on a big farm and have little red headed babies that ride all along Thisby on their magic steeds," He says in a high pitched voice, mocking me as he moves away and grabs some red yarn on the table throwing on his head.

I shake my head and send the orange and yarn in to his face now which makes the two of us break in to a fit of laughter that I'm surprised doesn't wake up a sleeping Finn in the other room.

"I missed you Puck even if you're going boy crazy now," He says with the same true smile.

I smile back at him. "I missed you too, even if you are a loser."

He suddenly hugs me. His large massive arms wrapped round me and my small arms wrapped around him. His head on my shoulder and my head on his chest. " I missed you so much, Puck."

**SEANS POV**

I walk Corr early in the morning and take him down to the early October Sea. The November sea isn't far behind and with that comes it's own battles. The horses but most of all the races and the men who ride in them, men have already begun the task of preparing their horses from last year's catch.

Corr will never ride in them again and I'm sure he has no quarrel with that idea, neither does Puck for that matter. I, on the other hand, find the call of the November sea almost unstoppable.

"Wait!" I hear someone call from behind me. I turn around to find an American in his neat clean clothes and combed hair that is covered in a cap, much like Holly. He smiles with his big white teeth and holds out his hand to shake, before he finds Corr's face moving closer. The American can't help but take a step back. "David," He pauses as his eyes search Corr for any kind of aggression. There is none, the call of November hasn't sparked the magic in him yet. "Hamilton," He says with a sure nod. "Nice Cap- Capaill Uisce," He tries to pronounce uneasily.

I nod with a polite smile. "Yes he is. He's not for sale though."

"Oh well I wouldn't have imagined, with how his gait is and all I heard what happened last year," He says with a apologetic smile. "I would like to apologize for the loss of it must have been a great loss since he was your employer and all."

I nod and grit my teeth together. Mutt Malvern was never a great loss and he wouldn't be missed by anyone here on Thisby or beyond. "Yes the races are a dangerous thing," I manage to say. "It must be what makes them so exciting though, I suppose."

Hamilton nods. "Well, to be honest, I was going to ask you about that red colt of yours. I've heard all about him and he's supposed to be a winner when he's grown, isn't he?"

"I've already promised him to someone else but if you want Miss Puck Connoly, a good friend of mine, has some horses for sale. Actual horses you'll be able to bring to America with you. Since the Capaill's aren't able to move to the mainland or anywhere else except Thisby."

He nods his head then looks down the beach and whistles. "Now, who is that pretty thing?" He says taking off his cap and placing it over his heart. I look up to see Puck staring down at the busy coast in tight tan riding pants and a green shirt with a large green overcoat that looked a size too big, most likely it was her brother's. "Your island might have rare creatures, but I feel as if the young women are more valuable then them," He says with a smile as he runs his hand through his fair blonde hair. "You are a lucky man."

I nod and grit my teeth feeling a strange ownership of Puck. She was not a dog and definitely not a beast to be sold. She was the stubborn, childish woman that I had been able to understand over this year.

Puck smiles politely as she always tries to do with business even if she secretly finds them disgusting. Her mother must have pounded the idea in to her arse enough as a child to get the idea across. She looks at me with her bright green eyes, quickly trying to read my face. "Good morning!" She says with a little hum. Why was she so happy all of a sudden?

"Good morning, miss," Hamilton says as he keeps his hat off, his pale hair flying in the October wind. His tan hand reaches out to her hand and takes it softly as he presses her fingers closing his eyes ever so slightly. Puck looks at me from the corner of her eye and gives me a look that is the picture perfect example of uncomfortableness. "You are?" He asks, his eyes full of dreamy wonder.

"Puck Connoly," I answer for her with a slight growl I try to hide. "That friend of mine I told you had the horses."

She smiles with the same polite smile, but the Puck I know hides under that smile in pure disgust. I can only imagine her spitting on his shoes and kicking him in the shins. My stubborn unruly Puck. How dare she look like this and attract this man? "Yes a few, but they are quite young. I'd like to keep them with their mothers for a bit longer. "

He smiles and sighs. "Well, is there anyway I can convince you of a deal?"

"Well as I said I'd like to wait a bit longer, but we ca-" But before she can finish about the horses Hamilton smiles at her and looks at her as if he can undress her with his eyes.

He shakes his head quickly. "No, I'd like to make a deal with you to go to dinner with me? Talk about those horses of yours." And with those words I'm disgusted that this American would like to take Puck out to dinner.

Puck's polite smile falters quickly and then comes back forced. "That's okay," She pauses with discomfort as she tries to find the 'polite' words in her mind. "I'm not sure that Sean would be okay with that," She says placing a hand on my upper arm. "Since Sean and I are engaged to be married."

Engaged?

With those words, Hamilton becomes very red and begins to stutter. "I'm sorry I never knew. Sure is a lucky man," He rubs the back of neck. "Well I hope to see you two later to talk about those horses," Then with that uncomfortable experience, he is gone and I'm left with Corr and Puck.

"Engaged?" I ask as she strokes Corr's neck.

Puck looks at me with a playful smirk. "Aye," She says with a little chuckle. "I didn't like him and you didn't like him for sure. It got him away, didn't it?"

"Yes it did, but... engaged?" I ask.

She smiles and looks up at me. "Don't act like you didn't like the idea...besides you got in quite a tissy when he said I looked pretty."

"Well, why did you have to dress like that? Men are going to look at you when you look like that," I state matter of factly.

"You mean when I wear some old gross tan pants covered in horse hair, a shirt that smell likes hay and Gabe's old jacket from the docks?" She looks at me skeptically. "Its not like I'm traipsing around here like one of the mainland girls," She smiles and begins her way back down the beach with a slight blush on her cheeks. "Now when your done being ridiculous like my brother and making deal with Americans, I'll be in the town with Dove at the bakery. Oh and Sean," She pauses to look at me. " You're blushing."

I put my hand to my cheek to feel the heat and when I look back up all I can see is the wave of a red ponytail. I swear I can feel it slipping between my fingers. Damn you, Kate Connoly.

**Puck's POV**

Sean doesn't meet me at the bakery, which I didn't expect him to but as I ride home on Dove with the bag of fresh bread and some sticky mess of a pastry for Gabe, I see the lights on in his stables.

I hop off of Dove into the small pack of dirt in between the house and the stable he keeps Corr in. Sean is hunched over as he pumps water from the water spout for Corr and the other horses. It's easy to slip behind him. "Hey," I say tentatively as I touch his shoulder slightly with my hand.

"Hey yourself," Sean says with a smile as he picks up the bucket of water. "Checking on the yearlings?" He asks. But he knows that's not why I'm here. I'm here to talk about the Races that are slowly creeping on to us. There was already talk of a horse being spotted down on the beach.

I take another bucket and start to pump the spout. "No," I look up at him and we make eye contact. "They spotted one of them today."

"Yeah," He says as if it's not a big deal.

I sigh. "You know what I'm asking, Sean. You cant race Corr anymore and well," I pause, thinking about Mutt Malvern being taken in to the sea and Sean a bloody mess in the sand. "You're not going in the races again this year, are you?"

He pauses as well and I know he doesn't want to tell me the truth. It's written all over his face, the way he looks set in concentration as he's going over his decisions. "You know that it would be better if I won. We could actually make a farm for you. Just because Mutt is gone doesn't mean the original Malvern isn't still selling horses."

"Sean, you can't," I protest as he pours the water in to Corr's stall.

Sean only shakes his head. "Don't you want a nice life, Puck? Never have to worry about money. Be able to make all your own decisions and own your own stable and everything? You know that's your dream. What you did to save your house? This is the same thing."

"That's a lie!" I say seething with anger. "I did what I had to do to keep my house and to have my brother on the mainland!"

Sean huffs and under his breath I slightly hear, "And look how that turned out," He's barely able to finish the sentence, before I throw an empty bucket at his chest.

"You are the most selfish and stupidest man I've ever met, you know that?!" I yell at him as he looks at me in disbelief. "Gabe left to go to the mainland to be free. Because he didn't love this island as much as me. I let him go!" I scream knowing I shouldn't tell him any of this. If my mother could see me now, I could only imagine the lickings. My mother's voice is not speaking to me now so I continue to yell. "Fine, Sean Kendrick. Go in the races, get yourself killed," I begin to stalk off to Dove, but Sean grabs my hand quickly. He holds on tight and looks me in the eye.

"You know I didn't mean it that way," He says puling me close.

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Then what way did you mean it Sean?"

"I mean that I want to get you something that you want. I want us to be happy. I want to ge-" But Sean's thin lips close quickly before he can finish the sentence. "I just need to go in, Kate. If I win and you know I can. Think of it. Think of everything we could do."

I shake my head. "I don't want you to endanger your life again for some measly coins," I say. "Just promise me that you won't go in Sean. Just promise me that you won't because there are plenty of better ways to get that money you're talking about."

"You know what. You're calling me stupid and selfish. You're just as bad, Kate!" He says dropping the bucket as we yell at each other. The small light of the stables making our shadows even bigger on the hard packed earth. Our voices echoing through the fields as we do what we do almost every week.

I laugh in disgust. "I'm selfish for not wanting you to die? I'm selfish because I rather have you live than have a bunch of stable so that we can ruin Malvern?" I shake my head like I have been this entire fight causing my head to hurt even more than the words.

"Yeah, you are, Puck."

I continue shaking my head. "It's like I'm fighting with a five year old. You're doing all of this so you can ruin Malvern to make him pay for what his son did to Corr. Why do you need these things Sean? You know what fine! Fine," I kick all of the buckets, some full of water, spilling on to Sean," I turn to see his shirt and pants covered in water from the bucket. He looks -and smells like- a wet dog.

"Puck..." He says with a small smile playing on his lips.

I look at him my face clear of emotion. "Well you kind of deserved it," I say but I can't hold it any longer and I begin to giggle which makes Sean look up from his soaking form to look up at me and start his own chuckling.

"C'mere," He says spreading his arms and running after me to give me a big hug. "Get over here, Puck," He says he smile spreading across his entire face.

"No, no, no. This is not getting you out of the conversation, Sean," I say as he picks me up and I squirm in his arms like an unruly toddler. "No Sean!" I say as he kisses my cheek and face twirling me around. "No," I say, but I can't stop laughing especially when we slip on to the small patch of Thisby Grass outside his house, causing me to land on his chest. He stares into my eyes and reaches up to my cheek with one hand while the other presses in to the small of my back.

"I love you," He whispers to me as my hands rest on his broad chest and he plays with my autumn hair. "I'm sorry," He leans up and kisses me softly and then very passionate until soon he's laying over me, my hair and the grass blending in to one another and Sean's hands are roaming over the plains of my stomach.

"I love you too," I whisper as he pecks at my neck and collarbone. "I don't want you to ever die, Sean."

He smiles and pulls himself away from my body. "I won't die, Puck," He kisses my cheek and then my forehead. "I promise you that you will never see a day when I'm not here on this Earth.

I don't go home that night and instead I let myself fall asleep in the warm arms of Sean Kendrick on his couch. My head tucked in to his neck and chest to hear his strong heartbeat. In the morning I find myself in his large bed in his big green sheets that are wrapped and tucked around me. Next to me on the bed is a note in Sean's crude handwriting.

_I'm going down to the beach to talk to a few sellers. I've got some old clothes on the drawer for you if you need them. Meet me at the bakery at 12 if you want to I've got a surprise for you._

_-Sincerely your greatest friend._

It makes me smile the way he says that we are the greatest of friends. I've seen to many people together that only care about one another for material things. Sean and I are best friends even when he is a complete idiot and I think in that way I can really love him. I quickly get dressed in to his old grey tshirt. It has him written all over it. From his smell of hay and the sea, the small flecks of mud and blood that are hardly noticeable. It's Sean Kendrick.

I go in to town with Dove, looking at my watch that tells me its only ten a.m. I hear Holly behind me. "Puck!" He calls for me, making me turn around to see him in his clean american clothes with a little red cap. "I'm so glad I ran in to you," He hands me a small pastry bag. "For you."

I smile and thank him as Dove begins to sniff at the bag next to me.

"How are the yearlings doing?" He asks politely.

"Just fine," I reply.

He only nods and chuckles slightly. "I'm sure Sean will be riding one of those little things in the years to come."

"Oh no, he's given up the races," I assure him.

Holly looks at me strangely. "Sean Kendrick?" He asks "Are you sure? Because I saw his name on the butcher's board," And then suddenly he looks like he's disappointed himself.

I look at him strangely and soon we're in the butcher's. "Puck, I was only joking. It's no big deal and all lets just go find Sean."

But its to late. I know that he's not joking, I know that Sean Kendrick lied to me. He's joining the races and he's going to be murdered.

When I walk through the door, everyone smiles and I can hear people from across the room call my name. "Hey there Puck!' One yells while another asks how Dove is doing, but their little greetings mean nothing to me as I look up at the board to find Sean's name written in chalk.


	2. Our Hopes

**So I was really done with writing for awhile. I'm trying to become active again and its really thanks to your guy's reviews and everything. I really appreciate you support. I haven't written like this in a long time and I hope that doesn't show in this chapter. Please leave your reviews in order to tell me how I'm doing. Your reviews really want to make me keep going with the story.**

SEAN

I sit in the bakery with Pucks favorite tea and November cake in front of me. I slip a small box from my pocket. Already a half hour in and its covered in horse hair, the smell of hay and November air. All despite my best efforts. I open up the box as if it could take away my fingers in one small close of its lid. In it lies a small band with one sparkling diamond, on top of a sea of blue velvet. There it lies perfectly for the world to see.

The thought of asking her scares me more than any night trip to the shore or monster the sea could spit at me. I close the minuscule lid and slip it in to my pocket with all of my worries and fears. Maybe she was busy. Maybe she got caught up with some buyer from the mainland interested in an older horse she had. She had wanted to take care of the few the island couldn't.

That was Puck. Helping those who needed it. She could be feisty and oh so stubborn but she was a good person. A terrific person, and that's why I know I have to marry her. She is what makes this island home. She is the one that can hold me to this island. What saves me from drowning my soul in the sea and the sand and Corr. Kate Connolly.

I walk back home in hopes that maybe there is a surprise waiting for me. I smile when I see her there with Dove and the yearling. Her shadow following her on the hard pack dirt and the cobblestone.

"Hey where were you?" I hold the bag with two November cakes. I hold the tea in a carton. Ill heat it up for her for breakfast tomorrow. I smile and I cant be happier looking at her right now. So when she turns to look at me I cant understand. Her eyebrows are set in concentration? No. Anger? Lots and lots of anger. At who? At me. "Puck..." I call but I am answered with nothing. " Kate." I try. Maybe she had a bad experience with that American man. "Hey I got you some tea and ca-" I start and put my hand on her shoulder as she brushes out Dove. She simply shoves me off.

"Don't touch me." she snaps and I can hear it in her voice. She knows that I signed my name.

"Puck..." I try.

"Don't talk to me." she snaps again and I'm so confused with what to say next. I have never seen her this upset, never seen her this torn. I believe the color of her hair and cheeks changes from that of the November grass to what I can only explain as hell fire.

"Well then what do you want me to do?" I ask

"Take your fucking name off the fucking board!" She screams and then the world is silent except for the sound of her breathing. I don't believe I can breathe.

"Kate..." I try. Maybe this name will calm her down. The charms and bells to her violent outburst and rush to the sea.

"Do not Kate me, Kendrick! Don't even try. You are a bold face liar! A piece of Uisce shit!" She yells at me and slams her fist in to my chest in pure rage. The cake and tea falls to the floor. The tea creating little puddles around my shoes.

Why doesn't she understand why I did this? Doesn't she know that if I am to marry her that I must give her the best. I will give her what she needs.

I take deep breath. " I don't want to talk about this Puck." I say and go to fill a bucket of water from the water pump.

She moves so shes facing me once more. Here in the light from the barns her shadow matches her attitude, dark,large and unyielding. "We need to talk about this Kendrick! You promised me! You told me that you were done with the races." She says.

I shake my head. "I never fully said I was done, Puck. Don't you want a better life? Don't you want to stop worrying about money?" I ask. Her life had become so much better after winning these games. Money was no longer a problem. She had more opportunities than she had ever had before. Winning again could be the icing on top. It could be it all for us. It could be the money for a wedding for us. A beautiful wedding dress for her and maybe the crib for... but I cant think anymore because she shoves my shoulder.

Shes fuming. "Don't pretend like this is for the money, Kendrick. Don't lie to me anymore! You just want to ruin the Malverns once and for all. That is all you want this for. Don't lie to me, Kendrick. I don't want this!"

The Malverns deserved everything bad that came to them. His sons death was a blessing to the world. No one here would miss Mutt Malvern. Not a living being could have loved that monster. No one cares for his father either. But this is all besides the point. Im not doing this for that. I'm not. I'm doing this because I love this woman in front of me. I will bring her as much joy as she brings me.

"I am not. I'm not doing this because of them." I state.

"You're lying to my face! Stop lying to me and go erase your name! You're so stubborn and selfish! SO fucking selfish!"

Selfish? I am not selfish. "You think I'm being selfish?!" I ask and my voice cant help but raise. "I'm stubborn?! Puck Connolly you are the most stubborn woman on Thisby!"

"I'm not the one whose risking my life in a stupid race to show off! I'm not trying to ruin someones life." she says and gets in my face. Our bodies close and our voice raised. The shadows becoming bigger with our voices. The sun setting with our hopes of a quiet night. "Face it! Look at yourself! You're such a stupid, stubborn boy!"

"I'm doing this for us!"

"Killing yourself gets rid of an us, Kendrick! Just be honest. Just tell me. Tell me the truth that you're doing this to ruin Maverick. Just fucking be honest with me Kendrick." she says and I look down. My fist sinking in to the deep despairs of my jean pockets. " If you do this... I'm leaving you. I'm ending it."

It hits me harder than any punch. It hurts more than any bite, slap, or kick could. It hits a part in me I didn't know I had. A small part but the foundation. I have become too reliant on Kate Connoly. "No you wouldn't..." I dare speak.

"Do you wanna try it?" She asks quietly. "I have lost enough people to the horses and the mainland. I will not lose you like that. You will not be mine and then suddenly not, because of some horse or man." she barely whispers. Any voice louder would let the tears escape from her throat and in to the air.

The small but mighty shadow drifts away. Smaller and smaller it becomes as it reaches the horse's shadow.

"Kate..."

The now quivering shadow stops in its tracks and slowly flickers across the ground. Back and forth it rocks on its dark heels. Its owner simply contemplating her next actions. The shadow waits.

"I love you."

A foot. An ankle. A leg. A torso. Then all of her at once. Two dark figures staring at each other. One small and one large.

"You're lying again..." and the words sting more than my cheeks after the salt water and sand have found their coarse paths across them.

She walks away and I let her. I don't try to calm her with whispering her wishes. I don't press stones or iron against her back. I don't do anything. I don't even do what I want to do the most, which is just to let my fingers run through her November hair. But I don't do it. I don't do anything. Not one god damn thing.

I float to bed that night, the small box still in my pocket. Hopefully that dark sea of blue velvet will take it along with the green jacket covered in dun horse hair and hay.

**PUCK**

I hate Sean Kendrick.

I let Dove lead me home and I just pet her and her side. I can feel her walk carefully. She understands that I'm sad, she knows that I'm angry and upset and disappointed. She knows.

Gabe sits at Dads armchair. "Where you been Puck?" Gabe smiles ready for a smart arse comment hes not going to get. "Puck?" he asks but I just put my key on the the key rack and empty my pockets on to the dining room table.

He knows.

" I'm just gonna go to bed. I don't need anything." I mutter to him.

He looks over, his head peeking out from the arm chair like it did when mother got home. "Puck what happened?" he asks.

I don't want to tell him that I was fool. I don't want to tell him that my once boyfriend and talked about fiance had chosen a stupid race over me. I don't want to tell him that for being so strong I was broken a little today. Still together but a crack all the same.

I don't really know why I let myself do it. I'm still ashamed of it some times. My fingers grip the back of the kitchen table chair and I let the tears that had welled behind my eyes finally fall. I'm still here but Im not as happy to be here. I rather have him next to me. Rather have his quiet and strong presence confirming my safety. I want his fingers between my hair and my hand on his steady heart beat.

"Puck..." Gabe says and gets up and I try to busy myself as I cant help the tears fall. He hugs me and I just stand there at first.

"I'm sorry... " he starts "I saw the name." he says and I hug him back and we just stand there. His sorry doesn't help, its an attempt but it shoots far off its target. But I'm happy hes my brother when he knows its the name. He knows me. "I'll go erase it." He says trying to make me laugh. I decide to let out a chuckle.

"Aye." I smile a little but I can feel the tears on my cheeks still. "Thank you."

So I slowly float to my bed. I still wear his shirt covered in horse hair and what I hope isn't flecks of his blood. In a fit of rage I rip it off and throw it across the room. I take the few shirts of his I own and I throw them all in a bag. I throw the bag and it hits the wall of my room. I take a deep breath and let the flood gates open. I slide down the post of my bed and on to the floor.

I sit there with the cold October air pricking at my bare arms and stomach. My shoulders bent in ward and my face in between my knees.

I prepare for Sean Kendricks certain end. Because if this is what he wants. He can have it. I wont stop him.

**SEAN**

I cant sleep so I decide to walk. Its a horrible idea to go anywhere at this time of night with the Uisce said to be out. I've already made enough bad ideas so one more cant do much. I just walk toward the town. My hands deep deep in the dark depths of my pockets.

Its all a blur as I walk towards the bar. My face stinging from the cold of the midnight October air.

The bar smells stale and its packed with men from the mainland. "Hey its Kendrick. " Holly says and smiles. "Where is Puck?" he asks looking around.

"Shes staying at home." I say but he knows.

"I'm so sorry for letting it slip. I thought she knew and well," he pauses and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "She was gonna find out about it any way." My hands ball in to fist but I know it is not his fault. I made this decision. I still make this decision. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asks and we sit next to each other and he orders two large things of beer.

He doesn't ask what she said and for that I am thankful. He just speaks to me about the races and my plans and my ideas for the next year when it comes to the Capill Uisces. Drink after drink he buys me and I could not have enough. Down after down they go and I can feel the worries go away.  
My name on the board becomes blurrier and blurrier with every drink I have. It starts to blend with all the other names. The laughter and the smiling comes back. Holly laughs and I cant remember much except him helping me back home and laughing.

"I need to get drunk with you more often Sean Kendrick." he laughs. He helps me to the door and lets me take care of myself. I don't go much farther than the couch which is were I wake up now. Not with Puck's arms around me. Absolutely nothing but the nauseous feeling that only stem from a newly single mans night.

**PUCK**

My cheeks sting kindly with the snap of the October air. I wrap my green coat around me more and walk to the barn where Dove looks out for me. "Good morning my love." I smile and pet her nose softly "Thank you for last night." I whisper to her and she just pricks her ears towards me. "Wanna go for a ride?" I ask her and she shakes her head with excitement.

I saddle her up and brush her coat.

Most of my day revolves around the horses I keep here now. The one Uisce mare I keep is in her stall. Sean was teaching me how to deal with the beast and so I decide to try to feed her or to teach her something. I grab the bucket of fresh blood from the butchers and dump it in her trough. She lunges at me and I just back up. "Fine." I mumble, annoyed with her.

I wish Kendrick could fix her.

I spend my time at home with Gabe as Finn tinkers with his car outside.

I can remember it. A day like this a few months back.

The snow was just about done thawing. The birds were coming out and Dove was big and pregnant with Fundamental. It was Spring. After months of the cold winter and the fear of Uisces the warm spring was gladly welcomed. I had been sitting here getting ready to check on Dove and go walk her around. It was our ritual eve since we had found out she was pregnant. I heard a small but strong knock on the door before going out. Kendrick's signature knock.

I opened the door to find him there in a blue shirt and dark jeans. We had been dating or courting, whatever people wanted to call it, for five months. It was typical and is typical of him to visit me at home every other day or so. It wasn't much. We weren't the romantic type. We'd sit at the table with our feet up. I would make some horrible concoction for lunch and in Seans typical way he would politely eat it. But that day was different.

This time I made Potato and beef stew, something I couldn't mess up and that was so much better than my family could afford before we won. In the middle of our lunch there was the unmistakable sound of Dove whinnying. No whinny I had ever heard from her before. The two of us ran outside to find Dove breathing heavy and wobbling around. Sean and I looked at each other and smiled wide. If she was like this then the baby would be born today.

"Im gonna win that bet." he laughed a little as I rushed to Dove's side, braiding her tail and getting everything we would need. "A girl. I bet you that its a girl." He stated with that stupid smirk he would get sometimes. He helped me braid back Doves mane. His braids were small, slim, and clean unlike my big, dopey, ones. "Let me take care of this one?" he smiles.

My poor Dove took so long. We couldn't blame her. it was unusual for any normal horse to give birth to a Uisce hybrid. So Sean and I sat next to her through the night.

"Do you want kids one day?" I asked Sean as I petted Doves nose.

He smiled a little and then looked at me. " I wouldn't be any good. "

"No good?" I questioned with a smirk. "Sean, you've raised the foals on Thisby. You can take care of Uisce."

He shrugged a little "Human babies are different though." He says. "Horses just need a firm hand. For the most part they want to please you cause you give them food."he laughed and I joined in.

"Well don't babies just want you to feed them?"

"Yeah but babies are more stubborn than horses. Or so I've been told." I smiled a little and then he looked up from the rope he had been knotting. "Why Puck? You want a stubborn little red headed baby like you?" he smiled.

I looked up. Its a question I have asked myself since my parents died. "Ive said no for a long time." I shrugged.

"What do you say now?" Sean asked.

"My mom would have wanted me to have one." I say "I'm supposed to aren't I? I'm healthy and all."

Sean looked at me "What do you want though?" He asked. The look on his face is one that I wont forget for a long time. It wasn't as if he was just asking me a simple question. He was planning for our future.

I petted the small white hairs on Doves nose. Her breath blowing against my leg in the warm spring air. "I'm not one for motherhood." I said and I still believe it for the most part.

"You took care of your brothers." he pointed out. Its true that I helped my brothers and after my mother and father died I practically raised Finn. I don't want to raise another child just to die before its grown. On this island and what Sean and I do limit the chances of us growing old. We live dangerous lives. If I was to have a baby it would have to be with Kendrick. Both of us don't know much about parenting and haven't had parents for a long time. I didn't like growing up without parents. Seans life without real parents hurt him.

"I just don't think I can be a mother." I said . Its all he needed to know. He laughed a little. "What? Why is that so funny?" I asked him a little annoyed.

He shakes his head a little "You'd be the best mom out there." he says. "You know I'm gonna tell you something you've probably never noticed for yourself." He says and smiles. "You... Puck Conolly are a good person." He pauses a little and scoots closer. "You're stubborn but there are stubborn people who only say no for their personal gain... You don't do that." he stated. "When you say 'no' Its because you're protecting other people." he shrugs like what hes saying isn't too big of a deal.

I couldn't help but smile a little. He leaned in to kiss me a little but before he could Dove started breathing heavier and whinnied loud. The rest of that hour was us trying to deliver that baby. By the end Sean and I were covered in sweat from trying to help Dove. Poor Dove was exhausted and I won the bet.

Little Fundamental laid there covered in afterbirth. Sean and I smiled and stayed with them till dawn.

I miss our adventures. I miss having someone you could talk to and feel rest assured that the whole island wouldn't know in an hour. I miss having a good friend to count on and someone to hold on to. I don't have that now but I don't care. I don't care about Sean and he doesn't care about me. We're even.

Now neither of us has to worry about the future or babies. I wont anyway. I've got plenty of other things to think about.


End file.
